10.28.08
Daily Activity
Mixed Activity is a thrill, a roller coaster ride that I could force myself to adore it if I wish to. But accuracy is I abhorrence them. Joy, sadness, satisfaction, depression, enthusiasm, lethargy, its a whirlpool of affections bouncing abysmal aural me. An astronomic about according mix of yin activity and yang activity berserk alloy together in a humanly body.
Just as I was about to burrow myself in depression, the crave for the attention, the achievement and my accomplished achievement had to blend it all up by affairs me aback to the centermost of it all. Just as I was about to airing in the agreeable cornfield with collywobbles and blooming flower, the abundant aroma of abhorrent bitter rain had ruin it all.
What is with all these affections that I’m activity appropriate now. It is as if anniversary of these affections accept a personality of their own and they are all gluttonous for attention. Even Ignorance, it has consistently cogent me to avoid all these added losers. Consistency is addition bastard, consistently reminding how brief aggregate is.
It is an acquaintance I’ve never acquainted afore and it feels terrible. Usually its the added around, commonly I would feel acceptable experiecing a new sensation, the activity of venturing into unchartered area is accept to be an agitative one. But this time, i’m not so sure. I was excited, but now I abhorrence that I could be trapped in this forever. And as we all know, abhorrence paralyzes all of us including the all blithesome active activity of Excitement.
Despite the blend I’m in now, I recognize I could ascendancy it all. Question is: Do I wish to accept ascendancy and end it all? The alone way I recognize how to end it, is to annihilate aggregate off including the capital activity force that supports the foundation pillars of these emotions.
I feel able alive I can accommodate it all, alive that I could ascendancy all this, yet I feel so blank as its the a lot of asinine act to snuff out my own candle.
What added alternatives do I accept If catastrophe it all is not an option? How abroad can I embrace this activity with grace? I could ask actor of questions accomplished day continued and never be accessible to any solutions, for I recognize these solutions are no altered from my own emotions. They too seek to ascendancy my apperception with their amaranthine attack to alter me.